Musings Upon Death and Time

Posted: June 15, 2015 in musings, spirituality
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

cup of death

Death and I have always held a peaceful relationship.  The presence of his symbols, so frightful to so many others, have always been for me, a salient reminder of  the ephemeral nature of life. I am going to die.  That truth brings me no fear.  There are many ways of dying that fill me with dread, but what comes after that is a mysterious wonder.  While I hold a general belief in reincarnation and in an afterworld, I remain open to the possibility of being totally wrong.  Perhaps those with a pantheistic viewpoint are correct and one day my decomposed bones will return solely to the earth.  I see no reason to stress upon something that I can’t possibly know until the day comes.

What I do know is life is short.   My great aunt was 88 when they found her lying in bed, a book left open on her chest, a smile on her face.  She’d lived a long and beautifully-filled life.  But she wasn’t able to finish that book.  Which is yet another reminder that I will never be able (at least in this form) to do all I wish to do.  Books will go unread.  Films unseen.  Foods untasted.  Places unvisited. Things undone.

What I can do is prioritize.  I don’t see any reason to make myself finish a novel that I’m not enjoying.  Those are put aside to perhaps be picked up another day when I might be in a different mood.   Forcing myself to finish a plate isn’t going to help any starving child anywhere.  If someone invites me to do something that I really don’t like, I tell them honestly that that just isn’t my kinda thing, but thank you very much, perhaps we could do something else together another time.  Rather than forcing myself to do something out of a false sense of obligation, much better they take someone who might actually enjoy the experience.

Time is precious.

Never will I waste it on any of the various inane debates that exist online.  If people can’t accept what works for them may not for everyone, that is their problem.   My ego isn’t so fragile that I need to explain or justify my life choices in order to receive an “okay” from complete strangers.  Instead, I’ll be laughing with Sam Vines and Granny Weatherwax (thank you Sir Terry Pratchett, and RIP), studying language, diving deeper into the paths of Tarot, taking a stroll enjoying the hot sun on my skin. Rereading Wuthering Heights or Carmilla or Little Big.  Or maybe I’ll be just sitting back watching  my son smile as he plays with his fascinating fingers.  Because that’s one of the best things of all.

  1. sputnitsa says:

    Yes! You know where I stand on this, and that’s dancing in the background with ya as we take on life and laugh and love through it. And cry where needs be.

    And I’m with you on not falling for every online broohaha, or troll. Let them rail; I am living my life.

    Rock on, sister!

  2. Sputsie!!

    “I am living my life”. Yes, exactly. 🙂

  3. I saw agree with both of you. No one knows what the end will look like or be. I think some stuff was made to scare people to become a better person. When time comes I too am ready. I lived a good life and don’t have much regrets. People are people when it comes to them poking their nose where it does not belong. Everyone want to give their 2 cents. 2 cent not needed and what they can use in their own life situations. I like how you don’t give in to things that you are not happy with. Since living here, I have learn to have a backbone. To also tell people sorry that is not my thing. For some reason people love to invite me to church. I love God that has many names, faces, and religion, but it urk me when people try to push their religion on me. Why not leave me alone to stay neutral why must I choose?!

  4. Lora,

    I’m always so happy to hear from you. 🙂

    I actually never thought about it as having a backbone. Just that I know if things were reversed, I’d want the other person to be honest with me. I’d hate to think someone enjoyed getting together with me and doing X, only to find out that months later it turned out they’d always hated it. I would wonder how much of our friendship is fake, then? If we liked each other, certainly we could find other things to do together.

    I think in such situations one can be honest and gracious at the same time.

    Glad to hear that you’ve learned to say, no. 🙂

    Heh. Sorta funny that people here have been bugging you to go to church with them. I thought that kind of behavior was more found in certain parts of the States. Another example that you can’t assume or go by stereotypes…

    Stick to your guns and be true to yourself. 🙂

  5. Stephen Thom says:

    Hey, great post. Actually, I am going to take your ‘false sense of obligation’ point on board this week 🙂

    I am recently trying to think as much as possible of time as a cultural concept, and something I can live outside of, at least in the way that we generally perceive it… if that makes any sense at all :/ essentially it’s all around me, it’s not a straight line, everyone else can keep their monday-sunday thing, haha 🙂

    And you are absolutely right… whatever makes you happy as an individual… it’s all your expression and core self, and it’s unique and vital, as you are. It is strange it is a source of conflict; if it’s not hurting anyone, it’s cool. Otherwise we’d all be a big grey population, all doing the same thing, eating grey sludge, thinking grey thoughts 🙂

    Oops, got a bit too into that reply. Lovely post, hope you are doing well, lovely to hear of your son. 🙂

  6. Hi Stephen!

    Great to hear from you. I saw in my email that you have a new post up. I look forward to reading it this week. Never apologize for a thoughtful comment. I enjoy reading your thoughts.

    I actually do understand what you mean about the concept of time and trying to live outside of it. Seeing time as circular, rather than linear. . .

    And thank you! Sweet Pea is now crawling!! egads. 🙂

  7. sputnitsa says:

    Love this thread 🙂

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